It seems that when you can't get pregnant, the whole world seems to be full of bumps and babies, as if to rub your face in it. When your story is infertility, it seems that there are very few people that you know how have the same story. None of my family have experiences of infertility and only one close friend is in a similar situation. Whilst I have shared my experiences with friends who mean well, I've often got comments like "I know someone who had IVF/applied to adopt etc and then found they were pregnant naturally". Whilst that is a great ending to their story, it may not be the ending to mine. I find I smile politely, nod and walk away knowing that they don't really understand the pain of not being able to conceive.
One place where I have found support, advice and friendship is Twitter. Whether it be through shared experiences in a weekly #fertilitysupport chat, congratulations when things go well or a shoulder to cry on when they don't, Twitter has offered me an outlet to rant, cry and celebrate our story of infertility and I know that I will have support whatever our next chapter may be.
To all those in the #IF community, thank you :)
S xx
Thursday, 28 June 2012
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Treatment Update
On Tuesday, our clinic confirmed that the recipients for the egg sharing cycle have agreed the match :). IVF cycle is really happening eeeekkk!! I should start using myself as a pincushion at the end of June/beginning of July depending on when AF shows her face!
We're now waiting for our delivery of Gonal-F ready to store in the fridge for D day. My head is in a spin and I'm anxious/excited/scared/happy all at once. I will do what I can prior to treatment with diet, acupuncture and supplements but at the end of the day, hubby and I have to put our faith in the clinic and let them do their job.
I have faith that we will have a family whether it is through IVF, adoption or some other route. There is a plan for us, the route might be short or long but the destination will be worth it :)
S xx
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Holiday Time
Hubby and I have just spent 10 days in southern Spain having some much needed rest and relaxation (which we have been told will help with our forthcoming IVF cycle). It was just what we needed and we managed to escape the constant thoughts and worries of infertility and just sunbathe, swim and eat good food. Here are a few pictures of a fabulous time:
Packed and ready to go :)
View from my sunbed
Beach overlooking Mar Menor
View from the top of the castle at Cartgena
S xx
Saturday, 12 May 2012
Acupuncture
There have been a number of recent articles about the impact of acupuncture on IVF success.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/29/us-ivf-acupuncture-idUSTRE80S0PI20120129
A friend mentioned it first which lead me to my friend Google. I'm an avid researcher and like to know the pros and cons of everything. All that I read indicated that acupuncture was beneficial even if only to help manage stress and anxiety during treatment. It can also have an impact on egg quality. I'm open to alternative therapies having previously had acupuncture, reiki and homeopathy. I had been anxious since being told that we had been accepted to egg share. I think I thought that we would never get to the point where we could have treatment and the reality of treatment, it not working or finally being pregnant freaked me out! So off I went for my first appointment and my anxiety has gone so if it's doing nothing else, I am much more tolerable to be around. I will be having acupuncture around my treatment protocol with two treatments on embryo transfer day. Fingers crossed it will help us get our BFP :)
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/29/us-ivf-acupuncture-idUSTRE80S0PI20120129
A friend mentioned it first which lead me to my friend Google. I'm an avid researcher and like to know the pros and cons of everything. All that I read indicated that acupuncture was beneficial even if only to help manage stress and anxiety during treatment. It can also have an impact on egg quality. I'm open to alternative therapies having previously had acupuncture, reiki and homeopathy. I had been anxious since being told that we had been accepted to egg share. I think I thought that we would never get to the point where we could have treatment and the reality of treatment, it not working or finally being pregnant freaked me out! So off I went for my first appointment and my anxiety has gone so if it's doing nothing else, I am much more tolerable to be around. I will be having acupuncture around my treatment protocol with two treatments on embryo transfer day. Fingers crossed it will help us get our BFP :)
An update
Ok, so I am a rubbish blogger but have decided to make a commitment to try to blog at least once a week. It's been months since I last blogged and things have moved forward in some ways and stayed the same in others! I'll start with the positives: We are having fertility treatment, starting in about 6-8 weeks :).
In my previous post, I think I spoke about egg sharing and fortunately we have been accepted! Egg sharing is a way for couple to have free or reduced cost ivf by giving half of the eggs collected to a recipient. Since the change in the law where a donor can be traced when a child born from donor products can be traced, there has been a huge drop in the numbers of donors, leaving some couples waiting years for donor eggs. We are viewing egg sharing as giving us a chance to have a baby and giving another couple the same chance. Infertility is heartbreaking and if my eggs help a couple have a baby, then I have done some good in this world. It has been quite quick for us to go from our first consultation in February to treatment. To be accepted, there are criteria such as age, BMI (which I have been doing Slimmming World to improve), hormone levels and AMH. My AMH is in the reduced band but fortunately I had 18 follicles on dildo-cam and everything internally is a ok so hubby and I had to have more blood tests - STI screening and I have had karotyping and tests to see if I am a Cystic Fibrosis carrier. Luckily, everything came back negative. If I was a CF carrier, it would not stop me from sharing but the recipient's partner would need to be tested to make sure they are not.
It was fortunate that we had a back up plan as we have definitely been told that the NHS won't treat us due to hubby having a child from a previous relationship. I was offered more tests which felt like were being offered as a tick box exercise. The outcome would not effect the fact the we need ICSI privately do I made the decision to not have them so not to waste anyone's time or money. It was disappointing as we are a childless couple and whilst I understand that there has to be rules, they are so inflexible and punitive! So that's where we re at the moment. Waiting to have treatment with the glimmer of hope that we may get a BFP in July! I think I've just scared myself....
In my previous post, I think I spoke about egg sharing and fortunately we have been accepted! Egg sharing is a way for couple to have free or reduced cost ivf by giving half of the eggs collected to a recipient. Since the change in the law where a donor can be traced when a child born from donor products can be traced, there has been a huge drop in the numbers of donors, leaving some couples waiting years for donor eggs. We are viewing egg sharing as giving us a chance to have a baby and giving another couple the same chance. Infertility is heartbreaking and if my eggs help a couple have a baby, then I have done some good in this world. It has been quite quick for us to go from our first consultation in February to treatment. To be accepted, there are criteria such as age, BMI (which I have been doing Slimmming World to improve), hormone levels and AMH. My AMH is in the reduced band but fortunately I had 18 follicles on dildo-cam and everything internally is a ok so hubby and I had to have more blood tests - STI screening and I have had karotyping and tests to see if I am a Cystic Fibrosis carrier. Luckily, everything came back negative. If I was a CF carrier, it would not stop me from sharing but the recipient's partner would need to be tested to make sure they are not.
It was fortunate that we had a back up plan as we have definitely been told that the NHS won't treat us due to hubby having a child from a previous relationship. I was offered more tests which felt like were being offered as a tick box exercise. The outcome would not effect the fact the we need ICSI privately do I made the decision to not have them so not to waste anyone's time or money. It was disappointing as we are a childless couple and whilst I understand that there has to be rules, they are so inflexible and punitive! So that's where we re at the moment. Waiting to have treatment with the glimmer of hope that we may get a BFP in July! I think I've just scared myself....
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
From the beginning
In April 2009, after our beautiful wedding, R & I decided that we would start to plan our family with a view to start trying at the end of the year. I think we both thought that within six months, I'd be pregnant and we had spent our last Christmas as a couple. However things weren't meant to be. So after a year of trying, charting, temping and ovulation kits, we went to our GP.
Fortunately, we managed to get an appointment with an incredibly supportive GP. It was pure luck as we had only just joined the practice. She did not question the need for me to have 21 day bloods which came back as ok. It was then to hubby to submit a sample. He was then asked to do another which got us worried. The results of both samples indicated that he had a low sperm count and was to be referred to an andrologist. Hubby seemed to take it ok initially but during an argument, it all came out that he felt defective, useless and guilty because he could not give me a child. All I could do was to reassure him that I loved him and nothing would change that.
Time passed and we had a useless consultant appointment where hubby was told that the low count was just down to the way he's made. He was told to take vitamins and submit another sample in six months time. He annoyed me by asking if I had "itchy feet" when I commented that we had been trying for eighteen months at that time! So we went back to our GP for more blood tests for me which seem to be ok and entered into the limbo of waiting for something to happen.
We don't qualify for NHS treatment because hubby has a child but that is a whole other story so we have had to explore other treatment options. We went to the Fertility show
which gave us lots of information about our options. We now have an action plan to view a number of clinics to find one we like and to find out more about egg sharing schemes. Hubby has to submit a sample in a few weeks and we'll see what happens after that.
Fingers crossed that 2012 will be lucky year for us :)
Fortunately, we managed to get an appointment with an incredibly supportive GP. It was pure luck as we had only just joined the practice. She did not question the need for me to have 21 day bloods which came back as ok. It was then to hubby to submit a sample. He was then asked to do another which got us worried. The results of both samples indicated that he had a low sperm count and was to be referred to an andrologist. Hubby seemed to take it ok initially but during an argument, it all came out that he felt defective, useless and guilty because he could not give me a child. All I could do was to reassure him that I loved him and nothing would change that.
Time passed and we had a useless consultant appointment where hubby was told that the low count was just down to the way he's made. He was told to take vitamins and submit another sample in six months time. He annoyed me by asking if I had "itchy feet" when I commented that we had been trying for eighteen months at that time! So we went back to our GP for more blood tests for me which seem to be ok and entered into the limbo of waiting for something to happen.
We don't qualify for NHS treatment because hubby has a child but that is a whole other story so we have had to explore other treatment options. We went to the Fertility show
which gave us lots of information about our options. We now have an action plan to view a number of clinics to find one we like and to find out more about egg sharing schemes. Hubby has to submit a sample in a few weeks and we'll see what happens after that.
Fingers crossed that 2012 will be lucky year for us :)
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